solar squirrel

I long to live in the suburbs, a 2-hour drive from work, but how else can you live in a gated community with heated sidewalks and the best shopping around? The houses are larger than I would need, but it’s what everyone else has and I honestly believe that bigger is better when it comes to property values. To make the commute easier I would get an SUV…I know they aren’t as good on gas mileage and emissions as my 4-cyl Mazda, but my Mazda can’t haul around all of the things that I would need in a new house. I would have to buy a riding lawnmower (always wanted one of those!) Besides - tailgating is SO much better with a big vehicle. Speaking of which, I can’t wait to grill up some burgers! There is nothing like some good ol’ American cow. Mooooo!

What is the deal with all this talk of global warming like it’s bad? Hello! If it just warms up a little bit that would be great! I really need to work on my tan for this summer and I want some warm weather. Why do you think air conditioning was invented?  That reminds me I need to get to the mall and buy a new bathing suit.  The brand I really like isn’t being sold anymore because of some child labor thing.  Seriously - these people should be happy they have jobs!  It is because of our generosity that they have work and they need to quit complaining.

I don’t care about the rain forest, water or air quality, pollution, or my endless consumption of everything unsustainable.  It’s a problem that I won’t have to deal with in my lifetime.  If I want to see an endangered animal, I’ll go to the zoo.  I’ll just buy bottled water in plastic containers if the water is bad.  I’m unwilling to make any sacrifices for future generations.  This is the me generation and I’ll never be satisfied.  I will consume and buy it with credit if I don’t have enough now.  I will take and not give back.  And if you don’t like it talk to my rich, white republican husband.