Where to start? How about a random fact: 15 years ago today I was just finishing up my 2nd week in USMC bootcamp. I remember it because it was Father’s day and a Sunday and it was our first trip as a platoon to church. I remember standing in formation outside waiting to go into the church - deathly hot and sweaty and miserable - and having a realization. I was only 17, but at that moment in time it had never dawned on me that there were unhappy, suffering people in the world. That at that moment, there was someone else who was feeling just as miserable as me somewhere else in the world. It’s hard to explain, but until then I never realized that there could be people suffering or dealing with a tough situation in which they couldn’t immediately resolve. It was strange, and after that day I never went back to church on Sundays. I preferred to stay in our barracks and write letters to my family and friends. (You couldn’t do both - you had to choose what you would do with your free time on Sunday if you even got any).
Jump to today. If you haven’t heard, I am going to have a baby. The Dr. estimates that the due date is 11/14. I’m hoping for 11/11/11, which would be pretty cool. So as of right now I’m about 4 months along. When I first found out I felt really trapped and scared and sad and mad and a few other emotions that I don’t even know how to explain. It was a weird feeling similar to the feeling I had when I was back in bootcamp. Like a weird realization / emotion / feeling that I had never felt before. How selfish, right? There are so many people who spend YEARS trying to have a child of their own…spend thousands of dollars and countless trips to specialists only to never succeed. And there I was, mad because I wasn’t going to be able to finish training for my marathon, scared because I have no clue about babies or pregnancy, irritated because I was going to get FAT, annoyed because I would no longer have control of my LIFE or my MONEY or my TIME! UGH! I cried a bit the first few weeks. I didn’t want to tell ANYONE. (Obviously, Todd knew about 2 min after I knew - actually, I was in denial and thought the at-home test was wrong so I went to the Dr. that same day to confirm) [SIDE NOTE: Why do people tell you congratulations? It made me feel uncomfortable...even when I bought the take-home test at the grocery store the girl was like 'oh! you think you might be expecting?! good luck!']
So why, you ask, did I choose to keep the baby? Well, the thought never crossed my mind until someone else brought it up. I hadn’t even considered it an option. Actually, I don’t think it is an option. I have managed to snag a pretty evolutionarily fit guy if you hadn’t noticed. And I am 32 now. (I know, I know, I’m 29, but let’s be real for just a second) And I am finished with my MBA. And Todd has a stable job and is capable of supporting the 2 of us even if I didn’t work. And we’ve been together over 5 years now. I guess if I was ever going to have a baby the timing is actually perfect. Added bonus was that I had managed to lose 12 lbs. and was the fittest I’ve been since USMC bootcamp. So, I decided that everything happens for a reason and that this was just my time.
My weight gain so far is atrocious. I’ve gained about 15 lbs already, which is NOT normal. It’s because my activity level has plummeted and my eating has not changed. I can’t help it - I’m constantly starving! (Un)luckily I didn’t have any morning sickness. There was a stretch of about 4 days where I felt pretty bad, but other than that I didn’t skip a single meal! In fact, for the first 2 months I was eating multiple lunches and dinners. At 13-weeks - my 1st Dr. apt. - I had already gained 10 lbs! I guess this is what I get for making fun of fat people my entire life.
And let me also state that my friends who have recently had children are THE BEST! I’ve gotten clothes and books and advice that is invaluable! It’s especially helpful that these girls are marathon runners and triathletes. They can give me advice on staying active and getting back into shape and anything pregnancy and baby related.
My running hasn’t been going very well. I’ve only been managing one or two days a week at most. The main reason I haven’t been going more often is because I’m just so tired all the time! I think I might need to start running in the am when I have more energy. By the end of the day I’m just exhausted and don’t want to do anything. Luckily I’ve been sticking with my workouts w/ Larry. We are still doing 2 days a week. This is keeping me sane. Todd and I also started biking on the towpath. I go really slow and we don’t go far, but it’s fun. I did go running today and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I can still go a lot faster than most of the joggers on the multi-purpose trail (which isn’t saying much). And I have enough endurance to run for an hour. (I think I’m going to limit myself to around an hour of running until after the baby).
I’ll have to do a separate post to recap my race in Fargo, but it was pretty fun. I finished in 2 hours and 14 seconds. If I wouldn’t have stopped so many times to pee I would have been well under 2 hours. I felt good the whole time, but definitely don’t want to do another half marathon while pregnant. Even though my stomach isn’t that big and I don’t look really look like I’m pregnant, I sure FEEL like it. I get out of breath WALKING up hills I used to do sprint repeats on. When I’m running a 9-min pace it feels as difficult as a 7-min pace used to feel. Looking back that’s what was wrong w/ me at the St. Malachi race (see my previous post). I felt heavy and couldn’t breathe. IF YOU OR ANYONE YOU KNOW IS A 9 - 10 MIN PACE MILER AND WOULD LIKE SOME COMPANY PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!! I COULD SURE USE SOME COMPANY THESE DAYS!
So that’s the story, kids. I’ll try to post more often. (I know, I know, this time I mean it Brian!!!)
And I’ll leave you with a photo. This was taken today, so it’s the most recent insight into my new look - enjoy!
18 weeks and counting!
29* year old Akron native. Recently completed my MBA with a concentration in Sustainability. Passionate about innovative renewable energy technology and endurance sports.